There’s a new movie out, titled Fly Old Bird: Escape to the Ark, which makes the Ark Park its MacGuffin. It’s perfect. Free PR for creationism, and it’s targeted directly at the prospective clientele for Ken Ham’s fake “museum” and “theme park”: old people with dementia.
Fly Old Bird: Escape to the Ark is a heartwarming blend of comedy and drama, set against the backdrop of a modern-day odyssey. The film follows Jon Koski, a 69-year-old battling early dementia in a Michigan mobile home park. Defying his children’s plans to place him in a nursing home, Jon teams up with Miller Gibbs, a new friend with a frail heart. Their mission is to reach a life-sized Noah’s Ark in Kentucky, symbolizing a sanctuary of hope and rebirth. Their journey is marked by clever tactics, including trading cars and swapping license plates, to outmaneuver those chasing them. This film is a testament to the indomitable human spirit and the bonds forged in adversity.
“Heartwarming,” huh. If any of you have any elderly loved ones with dementia, this is a movie about your nightmares. The problem with dementia is the intermittent lucidity and the ability of the patient to make decisions that might, without malicious intent, endanger themselves and others. Well, here’s a movie that says that your old parent with reduced mental capacity is charming, and sure, let him drive off to a goofy destination, it’ll make him feel better. If he has to steal cars to do it, gosh, that’s just an intellectual challenge for him to surmount.
Their destination, by the way, is not a “sanctuary of hope and rebirth.” It’s a venal roadside attraction for exploitive evangelical Christianity.
But OK, the movie could be a story about sensitivity and the importance of human dignity, if it has a good script and talented actors. Does it? You can watch the trailer and decide for yourself.
Oh god. The main character is simply cringe. On the plus side, the first few minutes where he’s emoting to project his frustration did convince me of his dementia. Everyone else is just flat — the scene with the joke wasn’t funny. They meet an old friend and say “Hey, you’re still tall I see, huh!” and he replies “And you’re still short, ha ha ha” is a scene that will have the old people rolling in the aisles.
It’s streaming on Amazon, and I could watch it right now for $4.99. Unfortunately, that trailer convinced me that I’d be unable to sit through 2 hours and 27 minutes of that dreck, so sorry, I’m not going to review it.